To love in the Wrong
by xMoonDropx
Summary: Sirius and Remus slash fic.


To Love in the Wrong  
  
By- LadySiri  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own it!!!  
  
My life has always been far from perfect. I was the white sheep of the Black family. I didn't care about the purity of a wizard's blood, but to the rest of my family the purity was what mattered most. In the beginning of my 6th year of schooling at Hogwarts, I ran away from home. It was the end of summer vacation, right before school was going to start up but I just couldn't stand being with my family any longer. Many people thought I went to James Potter's house, but I didn't. I went to the Leaky Cauldron and rented a room there. I needed to be away from everything and I needed a release. Boy, did I find one.  
  
If you don't already think I'm crazy, you will soon enough. I started to cut myself, right along the major veins in my arms. I never went deep enough to kill myself, I didn't want to die, there were still too many people I cared for and who cared for me. I just cut to let the blood flow. I bleed, a lot. But I bandaged the cuts, eventually. You may be wondering what a young lad, only 16, could be having such problems with. The first was my family. They were so disgusting, I couldn't believe we were related.  
  
The second: I was in love with one of my best friends, Remus Lupin. I knew I was gay from the first time I laid eyes on him. The way his sandy blonde hair flopped into his light blue eyes was irresistible. His soft voice and laughter was music from the gods. He was tall and had the right built, muscular but not too much so. I could go on and on about all his endearing qualities but that would take too many pages.  
  
I had other problems but it would be wrong to dump them all on you and besides it would take too long to list them. Anyway, back to the story. On September the first I walked to King's Cross Station and went through barrier 9 3/4 to get on the Hogwarts I express. I walked to the back of the train, to the compartment me and my friends always shared. Most of the ride to school was spent talking, joking, and laughing. My mind was never completely on the conversation; I had too much to think about. Besides the fact that the love of my life was sitting a mere 2 inches away from me, I had to think of ways to keep my friends from finding out my new habit. I was thinking about this when Remus nudged my shoulder.  
  
"Hello Si."  
  
"Hey Rem."  
  
"What's been on your mind lately?" he asked me.  
  
"Um, nothing really."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"I know you're hiding something from me. You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"So tell me what's going on."  
  
"Where are James and Peter?"  
  
"They left. They figured I be able to get you to open up."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's not hard to tell that you and me are becoming closer than you and James. Now stop with all the questions and tell me what's going on, please?"  
  
Slowly I rolled the sleeves of my robes up. I looked down at my arms while I knew Remus was doing the same. Some of the cuts were scabbing, some scars, and others still trickling blood.  
  
"Si, why?"  
  
"My family drove me insane. When I ran away I knew I needed a release."  
  
"Your family can't be the only reason. You never let them bother you this much."  
  
"You want another reason? I'll tell you. I'm hopelessly in love with you! Every minute of the day I think of you. I think about how I want you to be mine, I think about how you'll never be mine, and I think about how wrong it is! And now that you know you're going to be disgusted with me and never want to---"  
  
I didn't get to finish my sentence. I think that's a good thing because I had already begun to sob and if I tried to say anything else it would have become uncontrollable sobbing. 'Why didn't I get to finish?' you might ask yourself. Because at that moment Remus's lips descended upon mine. At first the kiss was soft and gentle, but soon my passion for him and his passion for me took over. My tongue asked for access into his mouth and slowly our tongues caressed each other. We continued kissing like that until it became too much and I had to break away to breath.  
  
"Remus, why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why'd you kiss me?"  
  
"Well, Sirius, I would think that would be quite obvious to you by now."  
  
I shook my head no.  
  
"First reason, to get you to stop rambling. Second reason, because I feel the same about you."  
  
That was the day I first learned true happiness. Of course we kept our relationship secret from everyone else, well we did until we got out of school. Once we graduated we moved in together and began our life together. From that day on, we lived in perfect happiness.  
  
James came over quite a lot to visit. He still had trouble believing it sometimes. But I think he was happy for us. Sometimes, I think he knew what was going on between Remus and me and never said a word because he wanted us to be happy. And besides, having Remus and me for best friends came in handy sometimes. The day James was going to propose to Lily, I don't think he would have gotten through it if he didn't have us backing him up. We set everything up for him, even helped him find the ring. But that's his story, not mine.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N- I hope that wasn't too painful to read. I think it turned out fine. Please review. 


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